The first installment of my mid-life crisis diary: Dear diary, the time has come to get off the couch and kick some ass. Im ready, no more excuses. Im starting to take my life back and after I finish my run I will meet you here for a good old fashioned cry and a tub of ice cream.
Yes girls this will be one of those rambling from the heart, glimpse of the diary type of posts.
I love the last line on the sign, "Don't even think about it".
But do you?
Do you think about climbing over the rail to challenge yourself to do something amazing?
Something thrilling, exhilarating?
Something that fills your heart to the brim and then
over flows and you can't hold it with a bucket?
I do, but.....
It still terrifies me.
At 46 I'm realizing all those things that held me back for so many years are the same things most of us struggle with but don't reveal. How many opportunities are lost because of our fears? I hate to think of what Ive missed because of the inner voice that kept saying
"be careful" and "what if".
And why is it so hard to reveal those things.
Undoubtedly, more fear.
Fear of not being accepted and being hurt even more. Let's face it life is hard and throws some whopper curve balls BUT, you'd be surprised at what you can over come, even conquer if you trust in yourself and face some of those fears.
This picture represents 2 completely different things to me:
1. Its beautiful, captivating, serene. Gazing at the water has a calming effect. Breathing in the air as I took this picture filled me with peace. Beauty was all around me and I was safe behind the rail.
2. An element of the unknown, invoking a bit of anxious thoughts. Clearly the terrrain is steep, rocks are below in the water and a wrong step could be disastrous. I wanted to hike down below but was unsure of my footing. I was just plain scared!
Do you remember a time in your life when you were fearless?
Have you ever felt invincible? What were the circumstances surrounding those feelings?
For me it was when I was a kid. I could do anything. I climbed on the roof, picked up a snake and swam in the ocean(until I saw Jaws, then it took another 20 years and a scuba tank to get me back in).
Harness that energy and use it to your advantage.
I finally made my way down, it took a while but I made it. And yes, I was terrified.
I wanted to press on and see the cave below that I had heard rumor of and once there I was excited, the climb was worth it.
On the way I crossed over lots of rocks, got a few splinters from some horrible thorn ridden weeds and slid on my butt in places I couldnt stand.
I was worn out and out of breath.
But I made it and that was all that mattered to me.
Stumbling on the rocks, I lost my balance, got a little bruised but somehow was able to climb back up the trail (which wasnt lined with railing mind you). I have to tell you I came to this beautiful place last year, after a terrible heart breaking experience. I went there seeking solitude and healing. I took more than a year to post this I suppose because I was still learning from the experience and needed to reflect.
Time really does give a fresh perspective on life.
I hope you see the allegory within this story.
This is a true story, my story. Maybe similar to your story. Im a fraidy cat, there I said it.
Not any more, not any more.
Despite being bruised, heartbroken and terrified you must continue on the journey.
If you don't you will never know what you are capapble of. Your journey WILL inspire others to follow their own path too, its a double blessing. My faith also played a great part in this story. God was with me through the thorns and the rocks and He is with you through whatever you are facing too.
My sweet blogland sisters you are capable of so much more than you know!